So turning 25 is a game changer. It’s funny, all that mattered last year no longer holds any value. None. I see things in a different perspective. Things I want to do, things I want to change, things I want to see, things I want read. Mostly work on a being a better me. So much I thought I understood. . I didn’t, but I do now. No longer going to let my anger get the best of me or control my life. No longer going to let stress run my life. Definitely not going to let ANYONE take advantage of the best parts of me— or my life.
What IT all boils down to though is biting off more than I can chew and swallow. I have to take smaller steps.. it may take me longer but I’ll get there all just the same. ♥
Love the scene
(Source: ninbra, via profashionall)
Can’t wait to do this
(Source: c0uples, via nutrifitblr)
That’s the ugly girl cry
(Source: afterstories, via profashionall)
(Source: weheartit.com, via profashionall)
So I realized I have been neglecting to write. I guess I just needed that space to recollect my thoughts and work on me. A lot has changed with me; well as far as growth goes. Finally, I was able to get an opportunity to use my degree for what I went to school for. However, I want to be able to continue my education. Mostly to get a general associates and also take up professional photography. (Wasn`t the plan to begin with) Anyway because the opportunity fell in my lap I was able to move out of my hometown(a blessing in disguise) I don’t mind it there(ok I’m lying) However, advancement leads to… really nothing. Entertainment/hobbies and interests are hard to obtain and achieve. I turned 25 in October. Wow, let me tell you I had talked major bs for years about turning 25 (where I would be and where I seen myself) (things I said I wouldn’t do, I did. things I was against morally I have done etc) but it really wasn’t that bad.. it wasn’t easy or fair, it wasn’t that bad though. I will NOT move back. Other than the fact that the Midwest had tornado weather on my birthday¡!.. mother nature said “turn down? for what?!” Lol No, but all bs aside getting older really isn’t that bad. You’re as old as you feel. It’s been an interesting couple of months for me. Turning.events and progressing. Grateful for how far I’ve come and what I’ve learned along the way. Towards the end of 2013 I was taking risks I never thought I would and to most people it wouldn’t be risks to them. See I’m more comfortable with a plan and routine, (trying to break that) But it was easy because it’s familiar. Although living like that is not living. It’s just like back in the day when the main line of work was hard labor and that was their lives. People knew waking up for the day what they would have to do and that’s it. They were not allowed to think for themselves. Waking up each day and knowing what’s going to occur in day events is not a life..Sure you’re alive. Honestly though the way I see it now it’s procrastination, laziness, and settling when you can obtain anything you want to do. People paved the way for us to be able to do so. It’s up you, me and I to rise to occasion and take advantage. Lol rambling blah. Anyway, I`m working on my relationship with God and mending relationships and working on my relationships with others and a certain one that means a lot to me physically and emotionally that weighs heavy on my heart and soul hehe (those who know me… know who the lucky fella is and have found out over the last few years how much I willing to put up with, work on, and compromise to make this friendship last :-) ) Life is too short to hold grudges anymore. Yes, there is that smalllllllllllll handful that will continue to remain irrelevant and non existent in my life and my thoughts. They aren’t remotely close to having that much control, power, privilege or energy. Also I’ve been working on thinking outside the box. Still working on being more spontaneous. Lol small steps make big moves. I can’t afford to dwell on what should have went right anymore. I just can’t do it. I’m still working on investing in my Mary Kay business. It takes money to make money.
Long story short what I am doing now I want to mean something I don’t want to look back and regret a move I should have made. I want my future children to look at me with pride that I followed my heart and was smart. I did what I WANTED TO DO/WHAT I LOVED TO DO/WHAT I LIKED TO DO not because it’s right and that’s what pays the bills or what someone told me to do. I wasn’t born to follow. I was born to lead… and what I’ve seen is trying to be that best friend, therapist, sister, cousin, aunt, daughter,granddaughter, banker, adviser etc. Has had me in a fog, sidetracked, set me back— clouded my goals (personal, life, short, and long term goals) No one’s fault but my very own. I had a choice each and every time.
I just want to be an example for my ascendants. When they go to search the family tree I want them to be delighted to hear/learn about me. Most importantly I just want my unborn children to be proud :-)
Words of Emotion
Words of Emotion